Writers Meeting – “Autopsies”

Word Count – 340

JD says: Autopsy footage is strange to me. I don’t mind looking at it, in fact I find it interesting. But part of me feels like since I am in no way watching it for medical purposes that I am now “that guy”, and “that guy” is one step away from “that guy who masturbates to autopsy footage”. I guess we are all just one step away from that.

Tim says: Autopsies I can handle. Surgeries make me feel weird. Whenever they remove like a tumour or a large clot of something, and it just falls out on its own, I scream like it’s my Superbowl.

JD says: I don’t really have any issues with blood, but I really don’t like the weird white growth things that I know should not be there and that I can’t immediately define. So yeah, I guess I don’t like surgeries either. They usually don’t cut into healthy people in those.

Tim says: Nah. That’s usually the reason for the surgery. My Mom used to watch them to earn quiet time. She’d turn on the surgery channel because then none of us would be in the same room as her.

JD says: I just love that there is a “surgery channel”. Or was. It used to be TLC, I guess. Now all they have is shows about tattoo parlours and drug addicts.

Tim says: Their target market keeps changing

JD says: Fuck that, I say bring back the golden days the of gallbladder removal hour!

Tim says: Yeah, fuck the queasy sycophants hosting your porn industry/porn accidents reality tv docu-dramas. Society wants emergency animal surgery.

JD says: I won’t lie, if there actually was a ‘porn accident’ reality show, I’d watch that every week. I don’t even have a working tv right now, but I’d buy one, get basic cable, and work my schedule around it.

Tim says: “OH YEAH! OH YEAH! FUCK ME HARDER! OOOPS! OH GOD! OH GOD! THERE’S SO MUCH BLOOD!”

JD says: Replace “so” with “too” and you’ve got that about right.

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