Word Count – 200
What’s that? TWO posts in one day? My word, that IS unheard of!
Excuse me? Pardon? There was nothing posted last Friday? Posting two things today does not make us exceptional, but merely is an act of penance and barely makes us break even?
You people can be dicks sometimes, you know that?
Anyway, this Thursday I’ll be doing some of my joke telling and other assorted microphone antics at The Standard Tavern, as part of The Winnipeg Comedy Blowout, hosted by the lovely Dave Shorr. Tickets are 5 bucks, which is exciting for me, as this is the first time in a long time anyone has ever paid money to see me do anything. Well, except for that guy in high school who paid me ten bucks to mow his lawn, but stared at me through his window the entire time. Seriously, his eyes never left me. He was putting forth more effort staring at me than I was mowing. I was not an attractive teenager, his amusement still puzzles me.
Dave and I made a little video to promote the Blowout, and you can watch that bitch right here. Be sure to come out to the show, I’m planning to unleash the debut of a bit that people have been telling me to do on stage for years. (shhhh! secrets!)
PS – I’m sorry to everyone I promised I would never wear my bandana in public again. Dave is clearly seen wearing my hat (at his insistence), and I did not want the focus of the video to by my giant sweaty bald forehead. Also, Donovan Bailey has a park and a gym named after him, but not a school. Sadly, nowhere in my home town is there an educational institute that teaches “How to Achieve Greatness Once Then Retire To Run A Sports Injury Therapy Center 101”